Blurred Reflection
by pandaholic
Summary: [AU]Haruno Sakura is top of the best medical university in the world. However, being the best studen surgeon  doesn't make her life any easier. Follow her as she struggles to find who she is, amidst her hardships of living up to her expectations.[SasSak]
1. Prologue: Who?

**Blurred Reflection**

_Written by pandaholic._

**Prologue – **_Who?_

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto.

* * *

_What we chose to do...that is what weaves our destiny. Our choices..._

* * *

Sakura's emerald eyes softly gazed her reflection in the mirror. It seemed like a corpse with precious eyes, staring back at her with a dead shine. A small sigh escaped from her lips. She could never be truly happy, it seemed. She was one of most well-known students at the most prestigious universities in the nation – Konoha University, located in the scenic city of Konoha, or to be more specific, the medical center of the _world. _And she was at the _top _of the _top. _

But yet, she still couldn't find happiness in her life. It seemed that so many years of abuse and neglect from her father had taken its toll on her after all the years. Her eyes wandered to the scars on her arms, which she freely showed to the world, to let them know that she wasn't some preppy girl that was spoiled and got everything she wanted with _money_; the scars on her arms proved that she worked, and she was just like the people living on the streets, trying to make a living in their lives, just trying to _survive_.

Her delicate fingers touched every centimeter of the light scars on her even lighter skin, bringing back harsh and tough memories. A small tear rolled down her cheek as the memory of the pain and agony that had caused the scars flooded her mind.

_So much red..._

Sakura was only eighteen, and already she was rivaling the legacies of the best doctors and surgeons of her time. All the professors present in the university had high hopes for her future, knowing that no matter what type of medical field she decides to work in and make her profession, she'd be the best of the best, no questions asked. Even the university's headmaster, Tsunade, who was a worldwide "celebrity", known for her life-saving surgeries on a whim, knew that Sakura could rival her legacy.

_Expectations..._

Her emerald eyes wandered back to her reflection, the corpse once again staring at her.

_Who am I?_

The question filtered through the hard glass, and reflected into the corpse's eyes. Her reflection, it seemed, changed into a blur. Was that an indicator that she was still..._trying _to search for who she was?

A small teardrop began to form in her eyes as the same thought raced through her mind.

_Who am I?_

The teardrop slowly rolled down her cheek, the thought of her father never proud about her accomplishments seeming to make her heart stop. The scars on her arms, the dents in her heart...no matter what her father had done to her, she knew that he loved her the tiniest bit, and she knew that she loved him like any other daughter would. And knowing that the tiniest bit of love that he had for her wasn't enough to always make him proud of her accomplishments cut a deep gash in her heart.

_Can I live up to these expectations?_

Sakura's eyes wandered to her long, delicate fingers, moving them gracefully, observing them and all their worth. She wondered if they had enough control to make a specific cut that could determine life or death in surgery; she wondered if they had enough courage to cut deep and sew it back together. She knew that one slip, and her reputation was ruined.

She knew all the professors in the university would try to make it feel better by giving her words of encouragement that it happens all the time, but she knew they would have a strong look of disappointment in their eyes. But she also knew that Tsunade would still egg her on, and punch her back into reality if she didn't dare try another surgery. Tsunade would kick her back into shape, but would she be disappointed as well...?

_Who am I...?_

_Who am I..._

**A/N: **Hey everyone! Pandaholic. Here! I know, I know, another story...but this one just popped into my mind, and I've already gotten a basic storyline and ideas, so, whoot! I hope you enjoy this one.


	2. Ch 1: Hello, Goodbye

**Blurred Reflection**

_Written by pandaholic._

**Chapter 1 – **_Hello, Goodbye_

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto.

* * *

Sakura slowly walked down the hallways, her books held in her hands. Every time she ran into someone, they would greet her like they were old friends, and she would greet them back out of common respect. She knew, however, that the students around her loathed her for her skills and expertise in surgeries. Some, in fact, had played pranks on her due to jealousy. Some even teased her because of the black bags beneath her eyes that seemed to never go away. She could care less, however, because pranks and her looks was not the first thing on her mind. Some could say she had a one-track mind; the only thing she thought about was surgeries, and being a doctor.

"Sakura! Hey!"

Sakura turned around, and smiled when she saw one of her few friends, Yamanaka Ino, running towards her. She waited for her, but frowned when she saw her facial expression.

"What's up?" Sakura asked, butterflies beginning to form in her stomach.

"Yuri! You have to hurry! She's in critical condition right now. You're already excused from classes! Hurry up! Not many of the professors know what to do – she's screaming for you and won't let anyone else touch her."

At mention of 'Yuri', Sakura dropped all her books and sprinted towards the clinic. Her legs were beginning to tire out from her fast pace and lack of running, but her motivation was set. She couldn't let Yuri die. Even if the clinic was half a mile away, she _had _to get there in time.

* * *

Sakura arrived in the clinic in four minutes; sweat dripping down her face from her intense running. Once she entered through the door, she ran towards Yuri's room, grabbing a pair of latex gloves from the hallway table. She burst into Yuri's room, hearing her cries of pain and screams for her Sakura.

"Yuri! I'm here, now, I'm here now! What's wrong, honey?" Sakura asked, trying to catch her breath at the same time of calming down the ill girl.

The girl stared at her frantically, tears beginning to form from so much intense pain.

"My chest hurts, Saku! It won't go away!"

The professors looked at each other and bit their lips. They knew that Yuri and Sakura were inseparable. Every day after her classes, Sakura would go visit Yuri in the clinic, staying there for at _least _two hours.

"Hold on, honey. Calm down. Yuri, don't worry. Be strong, don't cry. Watch me. Look, breathe slowly."

Yuri stopped her panicking, and watched and imitated Sakura's rhythm of breathing. Soon, she was completely calmed down, and her heart monitor began to beep the regular rhythm.

"There, that's a good girl. Is the pain still there?"

"Yes...but it's not as...much..." Her eyes began to slowly close, and the beeping began to slow down, the waves and measurements of the monitor growing lower and lower.

"Yuri! Yuri! Honey, stay with me! We'll go to the park! Come on!"

"Yeah, Saku! Let's go to the...park!"

Tears began to fall from Sakura's eyes, knowing that this was nearly a lost case. Yuri was so sick and ill for such a long time, even she knew her time here was limited and short. She turned to the professors, who all looked dumbstruck. Most, she saw, were the more amateur doctors who were yet to be assigned classes.

"Damn it, stop looking there like you're dumb! Get me the electric chest compression! Damn it, do you want this girl to die?!" She yelled.

They seemed to snap out of their trance and quickly got the device assembled and plugged in. Sakura took the two handles, and told them to set it at a good voltage.

"Shock!"

She placed the two handles over Yuri's body, hoping to regulate her heart's rhythm. Yuri jumped up, and Sakura watched her heart monitor. The rhythm began to regulate, so Sakura put the compression device to the side.

"Saku...it's not gonna..."

Yuri's heartbeat began to grow abnormally slow again, and Sakura knew it would be too dangerous to put another shock through Yuri's body. Instead she began to do chest compression mechanically, tears still rolling from her eyes.

"Come on, honey, stay with me! Don't talk, just think, honey. Come on Yuri..."

* * *

_"Sakura, we have a new patient at the clinic today! Her name's Yuri. She wasn't given a last name or anything; I think her family wanted to remain secretive about it, or something. She's only seven years old, and was sent here from one of the hospitals. Her illness is still unknown, but it's causing her heart to race or to slow down. It causes her a lot of pain. Do you think you can keep her company?" Tsunade asked Sakura as she entered the clinic._

"_Sure. Of course, I can give it a try," Sakura said, happy that she would finally have someone to talk to. _

_She never did have time to make any friends, nor did many people want to be friends with the top student at the top medical university in the world. Tsunade showed her to the new client's room, and opened the door. Sakura walked in and saw the girl sitting up, tears on her face, a small frown present on her pale lips. _

"_Where's brother? Where's..." _

_The girl noticed them enter, and her eyes instantly hardened and glared the two down. Sakura, however, was used to children who have been transferred from hospitals around the world. She was just happy that this time the girl knew Japanese._

"_Hello. I'm Sakura!" _

_Sakura gave her a genuine smile that few ever received nowadays, and the girl seemed to back down. _

"_I'm Yuri." _

"_Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Yuri! How old are you?" _

"_Seven."_

_  
"Woww! That's good! Do you have any family?" _

_Yuri looked at her, fresh tears streaming down her face._

"_Only brother. But he hasn't visited me in forever..." _

_Sakura was stricken with her heart twisting, as Yuri's distraught face touched her. She reached forward and wiped away her tears, and handed her a fresh handkerchief._

"_There, there. I'll be here. There's no need to worry..." _

* * *

Sakura's flow of tears strengthened when memories flooded back to her. She remembered all the good times she had with Yuri. They were like mother and daughter, older sister and younger sister. Yuri's heart began to slow even more, and Sakura had to use all her strength to try and get it to pump back to normal.

_"Yuri-chan."_

Sakura was surprised to hear a gruff, unfamiliar, new voice, but was too busy trying to regulate Yuri's heart to turn around and notice.

"B-brother..." Yuri managed to whisper.

Sakura's eyes widened, and she turned to the stranger behind her. He was a head taller than she, his eyes onyx and menacing. His hair stood up in a peculiar way, but matched his eyes with the same darkness.

"_I'm sorry I couldn't visit you." _

"It's...fine..."

"_Do you want to leave now, or would you like to stay?" _

Sakura stopped trying to regulate Yuri's heartbeat, already knowing the answer. She knew that Yuri _only _lived for seeing her older brother again. And now that she has, it seemed that her life's dream was fulfilled; Sakura couldn't see any reason for Yuri to live in a world of pain and suffering when all she needed was returned to her.

A small smile was present on Yuri's face, and she began to close her eyes for the final time.

"Thank you, Sakura...for everything...thank you..."

Sakura held her gentle hand as she waited for Yuri to depart into the next life. Yuri smiled at her, and averted her gaze back to her brother.

"Thank you for visiting me again, brother."

He gave her a genuine smile that made Sakura's heart stop, and Yuri returned the heartwarming smile.

"Goodbye."

She closed her eyes for the final time, and Sakura gently placed her fragile hand next to her body. Tears began to flow from her face, the truth of knowing that one of her closest friends was _gone. _More questions flooded her mind.

_Why didn't I try to save her? Why did I just let her go?_

She knew she would be scolded for that, especially when amateur doctors were watching her every move.

"Damn it..." She whispered under her breath.

She felt a large hand on her shoulder, and looked behind her. It was Yuri's brother. He gave her a small, almost invisible smile, seeming to reassure her.

"Thank you for taking care of Yuri while I was gone. And thank you for letting her pass away."

She nodded, the beauty of everything about Yuri's brother getting to her. But his words of reassurance wasn't enough to stop Sakura from having hard thoughts about herself.

I could have let her live...

The man seemed to read her mind once more, and spoke.

"It would have been better like this. Yuri doesn't like pain much."

Sakura nodded.

"Yeah..."

He gave her the small smile again, and even that was enough to make her heart stop. His hand left her shoulder, and he began to walk out of the clinic. Before he was out the door, however, he stopped, and slightly turned to face her.

"You're a good doctor."

He smirked, and walked away. Sakura stared, feeling heat rush to her face.

* * *

Sakura began to walk back to her room from the clinic, her eyes sticky and red from too much crying. Yuri's mysterious brother remained on her mind, wondering if they would ever see each other again. She hoped so; he seemed like a good person. Her journey to her dorm, however, was hard, because news traveled through the university fast. She could see the jumble of students and some professors staring at her confused.

"Haruno Sakura, please report to Tsunade immediately. Haruno Sakura."

She heard Tsunade's voice over the intercom, and sighed. Many of the students gave off silent "oohs", knowing that she was in somewhat trouble for letting a patient merely _die. _She shrugged off the thought, and made her way to the top floor of the university, where Tsunade's office stood.

* * *

"So, care to tell me the story?"

Sakura stood at the doorway, her eyes not daring to meet with her professor's. She knew they would be glaring at her, scolding her for her stupidity.

"You could have saved her."

"I did."

"How did you save her by letting her die?"

"I saved her from a lifetime of pain. Her journey has just begun."

"You let someone die."

Sakura grimaced through the whole lecture of why she should have tried to save Yuri, rather than just letting her go. Only Sakura could explain why she did what she did; it was hard for her to explain to anyone.

_There goes my reputation..._

Sakura frowned.

_Who am I?_

* * *

**tbc.**  



End file.
